Blake Schwendiman's Blog and Blook

When I opened the fridge this morning to get the milk, I happened to notice this message on the top of my jar of Claussen pickles: "Great with Sandwiches".

I can't help the way my brain works, but immediately I had to ask myself why that message is on my pickles. Who got paid to add that helpful bit of advice to the blank area on the lid of the pickles? Who is that message for? Who doesn't know that dill pickles go well with sandwiches? Who needs a serving suggestion for pickles at all? So, an animated short appears in my brain.

In the first story we find ourselves standing in the pickles and condiments aisle of our neighborhood grocery. Behind us and to the left stand two older shoppers glancing around in wonder. The first leans over and picks up a jar of Claussen Kosher Dills and reads aloud, "Kosher Dill Halves... Curious. Sounds interesting. I wonder what these are." The second shopper leans in, interested. "Pickles," the second shopper says aloud. "Never heard of them." The first shopper turns the bottle around curiously and says, "I'd sure like to get some, but I have no idea what to expect. If only I had some idea..." The first shopper trails off. Then just at the moment the jar is about to return to the shelf, lightning strikes. "Look!" cries the second shopper, "a serving suggestion!" "Great with Sandwiches!" they both exclaim as they excitedly place the jar in their cart and move on toward the deli aisle.

Do we really need to be told what pickles go well with? Or that we should squeeze the tube from the bottom for best results?