50 Reasons Why
Today Seth points us to Scott Heiferman's 50 Reasons Why More People Aren't Using Your Website.
So, here they are and here are the answers related to my site, just so you don't start thinking about leaving.
| 1 | Because they don't want to generate content, they want better life | No content generation here. Just reading. |
| 2 | Because it solves a problem they don't have | Pretty sure I've never solved a problem here. |
| 3 | Because it won't help them with their problem | You have problems? Sorry. I thought I was the only one. |
| 4 | Because oprah didn't mention it | She will. |
| 5 | Because everyone they know isn't using it | Except for Billy, I though you were telling everyone you know about it. |
| 6 | Because it doesn't let them spy on people they care about | True, unless you care about me. |
| 7 | Because they just don't care about what they see | Because you haven't read this. |
| 8 | Because nobody at work said they should use it | You have a job? |
| 9 | Because it's not fun enough | Right. |
| 10 | Because it doesn't make them smile | Because you haven't read this. |
| 11 | Because it doesn't make or save them a ton of money | I did too save you some money. |
| 12 | Because it doesn't save them a ton of time | Unless this article inspired you to a solution for time travel. |
| 13 | Because they can't think of what they're passionate about | You might try being passionate about Chipotle. It works for me. |
| 14 | Because it doesn't save lives or save the world | Again, see my opinion on time travel. |
| 15 | Because it's not as exciting as vegas | Have you been to Vegas? |
| 16 | Because it sounds like a citibank ad and they hate citibank ads | Get Tivo and skip the ads. |
| 17 | Because nobody's waiting in line for it | True, with the possible exception of those using dialup. |
| 18 | Because they've got jobs & kids & they're busy | But you still need a diversion. |
| 19 | Because they've got an appointment with american idol | Or you can just get your results here, here or here. |
| 20 | Because they're scared of the computer | Me too. And cockroaches. |
| 21 | Because they've got enough friends | Can you ever have enough? |
| 22 | Because they don't write well | You don't have to. |
| 23 | Because more people are using craigslist | But does Craig have a picture of himself being electrocuted? |
| 24 | Because you don't tell them what you want them to do | Yes I did. |
| 25 | Because nobody will think they're a loser if they don't use it | And nobody will think you're a loser if you do. Just don't tell them. |
| 26 | Because it's a thing for weirdos or losers | So? Don't you also have a Palm, a PocketPC, an iPod, or a cellphone. Now imagine how you would have looked to someone in 1972. |
| 27 | Because it's clearly something for "computer people" | See above. |
| 28 | Because someone will steal their identity or snatch their kids | It's a blog. Just read. |
| 29 | Because they don't understand your college words | Fortunately for you, I didn't study words in college. |
| 30 | Because they're better at something else that you suck at | There is no doubt in my mind you're better than me at everything except possibly falling down stairs. |
| 31 | Because they're not good at the computer | But you're better at it than your parents. |
| 32 | Because they were born before 1985 | I hope so. I'm much funnier if you were born circa 1970. |
| 33 | Because they're shy | I was the fat kid. I know shy. Just read. If you feel like commenting, type slowly. |
| 34 | Because it doesn't work like yahoo or amazon or ebay | Yay! |
| 35 | Because it's more than 1 screen to learn, unlike google | No learning. Just reading. |
| 36 | Because they're depressed | Then read this. Note: if you're depressed about a personal event related to flatulence, don't read the aforementioned. |
| 37 | Because they don't want to sit in front of the computer | Stand up and read. |
| 38 | Because they tried to use it, but something got messed up | Nothing to mess up. Just don't click this. You might mess something up. |
| 39 | Because they've never heard of it | Now you have. |
| 40 | Because there's something better to do | Name one thing. Okay, name 42 things. |
| 41 | Because us-weekly is more interesting | But is US Weekly so easy to click? |
| 42 | Because it says "tags" or "rss" and they feel stupid | Okay, I'm still trying to get over feeling stupid about RSS, too. |
| 43 | Because a friend or family member needs them | You can read together. |
| 44 | Because they don't want to look dumb | No matter what, you probably couldn't do anything that would make you look dummer than this. |
| 45 | Because they've never heard of flickr or delicious either | Don't learn about that, just read here. |
| 46 | Because there aren't enough people using it yet to make it useful | At least three people read this site. It's usefulness may have peaked. |
| 47 | Because there's no nudity or celebrities | Yeah, but I have Grape Nuts. Which, after thinking about it is probably not a good thing to say in conjunction with nudity. |
| 48 | Because it doesn't tell them why to use it | Yes I did. |
| 49 | Because it doesn't get them sex and/or love | If you avoid all of the mistakes in my short stories, it might. |
| 50 | Because they just don't want to read what you want them to read | Then don't read this. |
I hope that helps!
Like this article? Get free updates by email or RSS.
| Permalink
| Comments (3)
| TrackBacks (0)
Comments
At some point, one has to be confident about what one blogs, and not worry about the readership. People can be very cruel and fickle.
I offer, in essence, a liberal arts education on my blog. I have entries that show how to read poetry at a very high level, like the one on Shakespeare's Sonnet 73. I show how one might want to think of an opera like Mozart's "The Magic Flute" in terms of themes. I've done extensive work to bring this commentary on the Gettysburg Address to life and into people's hands.
At that point, it isn't my fault if I'm not read. No matter how arrogant I may be, it's everyone else's loss if they miss out on what I have to say.
Posted by: ashok | April 2, 2006 04:36 PM
Why people are not reading the blog: "Scott Heiferman's Notes":
1) It's dull.
2) The lists are too freaking long.
Posted by: Paul -V- | April 3, 2006 08:22 AM
Your responses to this list sums up so beautifully why what you write is fun to read. ;o)Keep it up.
Posted by: Holly | April 3, 2006 09:18 AM